Analysing a relationship to death is a mistake. Instead of questioning everything a friend does, take their behaviour at face value. If you don't like the way you're being treated, say so. Cite specific examples when you were hurt, describe how these actions made you feel and propose an alternative. There's no need to go into a song and dance. Once your other half realises how they've been affecting you, they'll try hard to improve. Praise their attempts at being more positive and helpful.