How to love like you’ve never been hurt before

 Learning from the past as much as learning to love yourself more are the keys to emotional healing.
Anyone who has ever been in love knows just how powerful an emotion it can be. Unfortunately, falling in love and having your heart broken are like two sides of a coin. For the heart to understand love is for it to know pain. So forceful is the power of love that, when unrequited, a shattering sense of heartbreak ensues.
When love beckons to you, follow him, though his ways are hard and steep… And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course – Khalil Gibran.
Some people try to heal themselves from the angst of a broken heart by displaying erratic bad habits or adopting strange new personalities (cue a Julia Roberts film). Others build walls around their hearts and even their entire selves, vowing never again to fall for the hackneyed ‘happily ever after’. Still others take their own sweet (and extended) time to mourn a lost love while they keep asking themselves, ‘How can I ever love again?’
The power of God’s love
Let us recall one of the very first supplications that Muslims are taught. We utter it at least 17 times a day in our daily prayers. It precedes every chapter in the Quran but one. This supplication, of course, is the Bismillah ir-rahman ir-rahim.
Though the phrase is often translated to mean ‘In the Name of God, the Most Compassionate, the Most Merciful’, the phrase ‘ir-rahman ir-rahim’ contains a meaning that must be felt to be fully appreciated. Scholars interpret this phrase to indicate the supreme loving quality of God to His creations, whether living or non-living, believers or non-believers. When we reflect upon it, we will realize that the great love God has for us encompasses His mercy that forgives our faults, gives generously and provides for us despite our failures and weaknesses. Reciting the bismillah regularly can hence remind us that we, creation of the Most Loving, are endowed with the capacity of loving greatly as well.
To learn how to love like you’ve never been hurt before certainly isn’t easy. But a good start would be to forgive yourself. Stop beating yourself up over the coulda, shoulda and woulda matters of your old relationship. Indulge in lots of tender loving care and, yes, have yourself a bar of chocolate, too. Recognize and celebrate the fact that you should have a great relationship with yourself first before you can spread love to others. Only when you’ve made peace with your past will you be able to move forward.
"And seek help through patience and prayer, and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive [to Allah]" – (Al-Baqarah 2:45)
Heal your heart
Get positively busy. Surround yourself with kind, supportive people, and keep yourself occupied with your interests. This is also a great time to build up on new, healthy habits.
Pray for guidance. God is the Perfect Planner, so trust in Him that what happens is for your own good. Ask Him to help you and lift the pain away from your heart. God Willing, you can pick yourself up and move on soon.
Let love back in. You have now learnt a few lessons that will help you navigate the pitfalls of a new relationship. You have proven yourself to be a strong and resilient individual whose heart is capable of containing great sorrows and thus, great love. Armed with this newfound knowledge and love of yourself, and with the guidance of the Most Loving Creator, you shall find the courage to love again.