For these women, blindness is no obstacle to matrimony

Hassan never hesitated when he took the decision to marry a blind woman.

The office clerk in his late 20s was certain he wanted to marry Ayesha, the blind woman to whom he had been introduced to through common friends in Bahrain.

“He said he enjoyed conversing with her and he was impressed with her variety of skills. She was well versed in religious matters and could read the Quran by using Braille. She also played the piano and sang,” he said.

Following their nuptials, they both learned how to adjust to the demands and challenges of married life.

He was patient with her, always ready to help her move around the house and find things.

They had three boys which Ayesha needed help from her family to raise.

“We could not of course take any risks and we are blessed that we have a closely-knit family that really helped us,” Hassan said. “Her sister was wonderful and she devoted time and energy to assist with the boys.”

Hassan said that the only regret was that they could not travel abroad to see the world.

“We went to Makkah to perform Umrah and Haj because that means so much to us,” Ayesha said. “Otherwise, I am not really keen on a trip to Europe or Asia because it does not really mean much to me. We celebrate our nuptials by having a lavish dinner here in Bahrain and by inviting over our family members. I simply do not need more than my husband’s amazing love and our relatives’ wonderful support.”

For Hanadi Al Omani, her husband also was her rock.

“He is the light in my eyes and the white stick I need to face challenges and keep moving forward,” she told Kuwaiti daily Al Qabas.

For the Kuwaiti woman, the chances of blind women like her to get married are “very rare.”

The problem is that most men believe that blind wives cannot carry out their domestic duties easily and that most families refuse to allow their sons to marry blind women, Hanadi, a lawyer who met her husband during a social activity, added.

“Physical handicaps are not a problem. Despite being visually impaired, I am capable of taking care of my house like any other woman. In fact, many women who have no eyesight problem rely on domestic helpers for the daily house chores,” she said.

“When a husband is fully convinced of the capabilities of his blind wife, he gives a strong moral boost and great support to fit in easily in the family, thrive within the community and blend smoothly into her environment.”

Abdullah Al Hassan, who had married a blind woman, confirmed the social stigma.

“I had to be exceptionally strong to challenge community misconceptions and to overcome social shame in order to deal with my wife’s visual condition,” he said.

“Of course there are people who attempt to add chagrin instead of happiness. I recall how many people, especially women, were watching how I and my wife behaved and reacted whenever we were in public in the early weeks of the marriage. We never paid any consideration to them and we dismissed their mentality.”

The wife, Umm Eisa, said that she had concerns in the beginning.

“I kept asking if my relationship as a blind woman would work with my husband,” she said. “I wondered whether I could be up to the responsibilities waiting for me and if I could make my husband and his family happy. Thank God, I believe I have succeeded and I am proud everything is fine.”

Abdullah met his wife at an association for the visually-impaired in Kuwait.

“I often visited the association since my mother and my aunt’s husband were members. We got to know each other and love blossomed between us. We then got married and we are happy together. We have been married for 15 years and we have four children.”

However, the beginning of the relationship was not so agreeable to his friends and family, he added.

“When they heard about a possible marriage, some of them tried to dissuade me, explaining that it would be extremely difficult to achieve the stability I wanted and needed. However, I persisted and explained that she was the one I loved and wanted to marry. We praise God that everything has worked out so fine for us. We had our first daughter Fatima, and then we had Safiya, Hashem and Mohammad.”

Mona Abdullah, a blind woman who is single, said that the chances for visually-impaired women to get married were “very limited.”

“The marriage is usually with non-Kuwaiti husbands and there is serious concern that the aim of the wedding is motivated by material interests or for charity purposes, and that is why I had turned down offers from foreigners,” she said. “The social stigma against blind women is so powerful that it further cripples blind Kuwaiti women’s actions and attitudes and stifles their hopes and ambitions.”

Nawal Rajab said that even though she lost her sight suddenly, she never lost her love for life.

“I never allowed the onslaught of disappointments to plague me,” she said. “And that extends to marriage. I never felt something was missing by being single and I celebrate life through painting,” Nawal the first blind Kuwaiti woman to work for the defence ministry, said.

Social misconceptions about blind women as successful wives are a powerful stigma, she added.

“Families tend not to allow their own blind daughters to marry men without eyesight problems because they believe that these men are driven by purely selfish, self-serving motives and that they are not really serious about the institution of marriage,” she said.

Such approaches make the social challenges blind women have to face more formidable.

source: GULF NEWS